WANT! – GREEN LANTERN & THUNDERCATS Edition!

Bless me, iFanbase, for I have sinned.

It has been a dog's age since my last WANT. And though I believed my time purging myself of material desires at a retreat with the Sisters of Our Lady of the Unusual would end my days of covetousness, I am unable to deny…the stirrings. There is a hunger, wailing out from beneath my diaphragm. I sorely thirst to be a better man, content with life's humblest pleasures. But I cannot deny that primal yearning for things. For stuff. I cannot deny my WANT! 

Toy Fair 2011! What have you for my materialistic cravings?

What ho?

Mezco's Mez itz figures are similar to Hasbro's super-deformed Mighty Muggs line. But where Muggs tend toward minimalism, the Mez itz toys feature a great deal of surface detail. I've got a Hellboy Mez itz sitting on my desk, and it could easily pass for some kind of papercraft sculpture taken directly from a Mignola illustration. The Hal and Sinestro movie Mez itzsessessssessesss offer detailed paint jobs which capture the dour expressions of their likenesses. 

Sit this on your desk and you will never, ever feel accomplished. Hal is upset, and knows you can do better. A boon to productivity! $30 for the pair. 

I was born in 1984, so I missed the boat for GI Joe, but touched down as the last ripples of fervor for Thundercats were still cresting. So I'm anxious (more eager than nervous) about the new series on Cartoon Network and the toy lines heralding it. The redesigned Lion-O on the right represents the 4" line equipped with special magnets in the back. Those magnets apparently do some kind of sorcery on the accessories and vehicles (more on that shortly), which is kind of dope. Because, really, who knows how magnets work and what they're ultimately capable of? Am I right? But the really cool news is that they'll also be offering new versions of the 80s Thundercats toys which I just sold in bulk during a yard sale last summer. Because I'm an idiot. Anyways, these new versions feature better detail, articulation, and aren't broken into five easy pieces like my old Lion-O (I swear I'm not a serial killer). 

The Colossal Cannon.

You're eleven. It's about 4AM, so everyone's tuckered out from a night of pizza and Ben 10 Pogs or whatever kids are into right now. Anyways, you're out like Mickey Rourke in the closing credits. Your friend's little brother–Jordan or Skylar–wakes you up with a jab to the temple. Wearing those giant Hulk hands. You scramble to your feet, reach into your overnight bag and pull out this bad boy. He's within range, so you fire a green construct. But it's dark and he's wiry and wired and you miss. You prepare a second shot, but then you ask yourself, what would Kilowog do? You close the distance and you pop the kid in the face, leaving the imprint of your plastic gun barrel in his forehead. You're never invited to spend the night or even an afternoon at Kyle's house again. But that's okay. Because Kyle's a dick anyway. 

Mark me. The Sword of Omens is cooler than any lightsaber. It's maybe the coolest phallic symbol in any boy's adventure serial. And there are lots. It's like Winchester '73 if Winchester '73 was a sword and Jimmy Stewart's DNA was merged with that of a jungle cat. Guys. It grows. And look at the packaging. It's triple deluxe. It's triple everything. 

Alanis Morissette already has one. She used it to reenact the martyrdom of St. Lawrence on her George Foreman grill. It may end up on YouTube at some point. 

It's the Thunder Tank! For anyone not in the know, this is the Millenium Falcon of the ground! $30.