WANT! – 08/11/2010

Every month ought to culminate with its own Christmas. I've decided. 


If I had a jealous, scorned lover and she absolutely had to murder me, going out with a thunk to the back of the head from this Flash statue really wouldn't be so bad. Inspired by the art of Michael Turner, this snapshot of Wally standing over an incapacitated Gorilla Grodd is seven inches of chest-pounding victory. It wasn't beauty who killed the beast. It was the Speed Force. And the beast will most likely break out of Iron Heights to terrorize the people of Keystone within a month. Like 75 bucks. 


Despite appearances, this is not an actual movie prop. It is merely a bag for your textbooks and folders and graphing calculator.  This proton pack backpack lets everyone know that you ain't 'fraid of no ghosts. That does not mean, however, that you should toss it over your shoulder and venture onto the abandoned property at the edge of town. The ghosts of that murdered girl and the immigrant miners will lure you into the basement and convince you that it's 1915, feeding on your energy for the rest of your natural life. Again, this is for homework, not God's work.  


"I am building a birdhouse!" – David Cross, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Frankly, I'm not sure why I'm even writing a caption, because you already want this. You're looking at a JLA birdhouse. Hawkman is on it. Every bird in your neighborhood will want to dine in this thing, and they will tell their feathered friends in other towns and hamlets to come and hang out there. You could basically put the cheap seeds or, like, a pine cone in this and the birds would still flock, literally, to your backyard or porch or wherever you install this. A toucan might even show up. 40 clams. 


  1. I’m not a big statue guy, but that Flash is just Beautiful with a capital B.

  2. Oh that birdhouse is awesome

  3. When the page loaded and I saw Flash, I was undecided. Then I scrolled down and saw Gorilla Grood and fell in love.

  4. Oh you had me at that Ghostbusters backpack.

  5. That Flash statue is on display at my LCS. It taunts me.

  6. That "Proton Pack Backpack" makes me want to go back to 5th grade all over again.  Of course this time I’ll pass on the homework, beatings, and cafeteria lunches.

  7. The proton pack backpack is the newest con accessory for sure.  You shouldn’t leave home without it. 

    Also, the birdhouse is crazy cool.

  8. My mother has like 18 birdhouses around her property. I’m pretty sure I could convince her to make that 19.

    "But mom, you could put it in a shady place where your friends won’t see it." *slumps shoulders and stamps foot* "C’mon, it’s got Darkseid on it!" 

  9. My wife and I knew someone who’d made a comics collage out of their coffee table, kinda like that birdhouse. It was one of those tables with the glass top, and they’d covered the bottom of the glass with bits of comics. While I appreciate the idea, when my wife suggested we do similar sorts of things I couldn’t bear the thought of physcially destroying old comics to do so.

  10. So Paul, are you saying if i get the bird house then i will have toucans up here in Canada? cause if you are saying that, i’ll buy it.

  11. totes buying the GB backpack

  12. That backpack is awesome.

  13. I need that statute in my life!