WANT! – 06/29/2010 – Billy Zane Edition

Fourteen years and three weeks ago, a hero with his own island and a horse and a wolf who was his friend rode into our hearts and grabbed that collective heart like the brass ring of a carousel and kept on riding, the aforementioned heart streaming behind him like a moist, pulsing kite. The hero was the ghost who walks; The Phantom; Billy Zane. The heart was ours. The kite was a simile. And we have never been the same again. Billy Zane has changed the way we WANT, with his charm, his dark soul, his financial problems, and his victory over Treat Williams.

This week we salute none other than Citizen Zane.

Historically, we've only really coveted physical items on WANT!, but this week we're including the actualization of a reality. An event. A choice. Billy Zane as Lex Luthor in an upcoming Superman film. According to Superman Supersite, Zane met with filmmaker Christopher Nolan for a clandestine lunch back in April. There's no telling what they talked about, but Nolan's involvement with the new Superman franchise and Zane's baldness could potentially almost maybe possibly sort of mean that the world's most evil actor could also play the world's most evil mad scientist turned evil businessman.


We were thrilled to learn that Billy Zane's first film Back to the Future will finally debut on Blu-ray this October, as part of the greater 25th Anniversary Back to the Future Trilogy collection. Billy only appears in the first two films, but the package is still worth picking up given the inclusion of Back to the Future III, which ranks among Paul's Top 6 Favorite Film Westerns.




Never before has slamming evil been so important. With the crime and the greed and the snakes. That's why it's time for everyone to become a costumed vigilante. To take justice into our own hands and have our way with it under cover of darkness. Since none of us are from other planets and because no one seems to be doing anything with gamma rays at the local university, we've opted to model ourselves after an unpowered hero from the pulp age, who also happens to be the focus of the greatest superhero flick to date: 1996's The Phantom. Luckily, Entertainment Earth has most of the tools we'll need, including the Phantom's guns, knife, and holsters. They even have the ring for those of us who neglected to save their's from the 7-11 movie promotion. Purple sweat suits are readily available at Forman Mills, and Conor has no shortage of European-style speedos. All we need now is a wolf companion, so we're already scouting in Central Park for a wild dog. We'll be hitching rides on the bottom of sea planes in no time. Evil: slammed.


  1. Lot of crotch shots in today’s articles….

    I wish we could see a good Phantom film, or comics, or anything really. Cause those are great looking props and I’d love to have them. 

  2. You should get some award for your use of the best worst puns. 

  3. Back to the Future on Blu Ray=RAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. man Zane as Lex would be killer

  5. Zane could be an interesting Luthor.

  6. Billy Zane is in BTTF part 2.

  7. Paul Montgomery (@fuzzytypewriter) says:

    @bigyanks – Good catch! I’ve honestly never sat through any of them the whole way through expect for the third one.

  8. Even better reason to get the blu ray, might i also add its rumored that a short film JAWS 3D is included in the blu ray.

  9. it is confirmed and its JAws 19 in 3D

  10. Paul, I encourage you to take a break from watching The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford While They Mostly Sit Around And Do Nothing While Brad Pitt Walks Around Gazing In The Distance (surely it is still making its way through the first viewing), and watch Back to the Future 1 & 2. Back to back.

  11. Paul Montgomery (@fuzzytypewriter) says:

    Just for that, I’m never gonna watch ’em. 

  12. @paul–you’re totally missing out. Its quintessential adventure/comedy and a cinematic classic. Part 3 is the weakest of the bunch (albeit still very good). You owe it to yourself to watch the whole trilogy immediately. =)

  13. Just curious…Did anyone else kinda sorta enjoy The 1996 Phantom Movie? It was campy 90s fun and i’m a sucker for golden age pulp characters. 

  14. @wallythegreenmonster: I liked it

     I also think its possible Zane was meeting for a completely differen movie.

  15. I liked The Phantom a lot. Of course, I’ve not seen it since I was 11, but there ya go.

  16. You know what Billy Zane has going for him. He’s an Aussie with a receding hairline. And they are always the best.

  17. @g0ofnewt: Billy Zane was born in Chicago….

  18. I thought he was Aussie… Oh well. Head down in shame. 

  19. something about Billy Zane just screams Douche BAg

    and I want that striped phantom speedo to go swimming! ;p

  20. Jeff Reid (@JeffRReid) says:

    When we randomly watched BTTF a few weeks ago, we saw Zane’s name in the credits and immediately went back and had to watch his scenes again. That man can act without even saying a word.

  21. Best WANT! ever! Well done Paul.