WANT! – 06/08/2010

Here at the iFanboy brownstone, we rent most of our furniture and appliances, including our light bulbs. But that's okay, because with the money we're saving, one day we're gonna be able to afford a waffle iron that makes Darth Vader waffles.

Here's some of the other nonsense that we desperately WANT!

 

Listen. Gardening is hard. It's dirty and it's arduous and all them plants be straight-up ornery. If you don't want your flowers and peppers and venus fly-traps to get messed up by the sun and shit like weevils, you're gonna need to enlist some mystical aid. You need some wee-folk. Forget gnomes because they're all old and stopped evolving ages ago. All respect to Tom Bosley and Nick Jr., but this David the Gnome nonsense is not gonna get things done in the 21st century. The Star Wars Shop offers this exclusive garden jawa. They know about moisture vaporators. They know about sales. And they know to Always. Be. Closing. $35.

 

Hey, it's Rorschach's mask and grappling gun. Because sometimes you just need to climb some shit and write in your journal in peace. And ladders? That's treacherous. Have you seen what can happen with ladders? 

 

 

 

You want to stick with grappling. $240.

 

It's beach season, and we're tired of getting weird striations on her asses sitting on rickety old beach chairs. We need an upgrade, and there's none more engaging or superfluous than this Star Trek original series captain's chair. Mount a parisole on the back of this thing, and you are ready for a day on the beach at the edge of forever. Fascinating. $5,599.99.

Comments

  1. The garden jawa has me seriously considering having a garden *and* actually gardening. Love it!!

  2. Jeff Reid (@JeffRReid) says:

    The quest for home-ownership that my wife and I are currently on has now been stepped up by the knowledge that there is a Garden Jawa available for purchase. He’d look so cute there, protecting my garden from wandering R2 units.

  3. I’ve always thought that the captain’s chair looks incredibly uncomfortable with a subtle Eames influence. 

    Jawa gnomes = rad.  

  4. I’ve always known that my life will be incomplete until I possess an actual grappling gun. ‘Cause ya never know, right?

  5. Arrrggghhh (@Arrrggghhh) says:

    Love those ladders! And That had NEVER happened! Damn those slippery floors indeed!

  6. Paul seems to be in touch with the absurd lately with some of his descriptions and tenuous links to between products and descriptions. Amusing.

  7. *sigh* I wish the Rorschach mask did work like in the book. That would be an awesome thing to wear even if it does make you look like a weirdo.

    My mother saw that QVC clip as it happened and she thought she saw a man die on TV. 

  8. I want that chair!

  9. "Because sometimes you just need to climb some shit and write in your journal in peace."

    That was way too funny. 

     

  10. My neighbors would love the garden Jawa. They’re huge Star Wars fans.

    @JeffR: You sure they’re protecting your garden? One morning you will wake up to find that your garden has vanished along with the Jawa.

  11. Kelly (@annaluna) says:

    if i had a yard, i would be all over that garden jawa, even though they gave me serious nightmares as a kid.

  12. I’m afraid the garden Jawas would cause me to commit a crime if I ever saw one in someone’s garden. I apologise now in advance should I steal one.

  13. That garden Jawa must be mine. Hell why stop at one, I’ll take half a dozen. 

  14. I’m steppin’ up in the world…Time to get me a ladder.

  15. "I didn’t have it locked"

  16. If someone could hook a sound system up to those Jawas and have it shout "Utini!" whenever I walked past it would be the greatest thing ever.

  17. @Paul: LMFAO!!!!!!!
    "actually, I didn’t lock it. You have to lock it and then it’s okay." Quote of the day.

    Thanks Paul, you made my day.

    MY WANT List:

    1. White Lantern Sinestro
    http://tinyurl.com/COMICWANT1
    Reason: For when you want to scare your neighbors.

    2. Death’s Head
    http://tinyurl.com/COMICWANT2
    Reason: A nice reminder of why I stopped buying comics in the early 90s.

    3. Hiroshi’s Dinner
    http://tinyurl.com/COMICWANT3
    Reason: For that neice you always wanted to impress at birthday parties.

  18. My special someone made me a  Rorschach keychain for my birthday.

     

  19. I fear the day The J. Peterman Company steals you away. 

  20. file:///Users/waynegarrison/Desktop/dinorape5-1.jpgfile:///Users/waynegarrison/Desktop/dinorape6.jpg