Tuesday Showdown: Tintin vs. Jimmy Olsen

Tintin vs. Jimmy Olsen

"Chloe will really get a kick out of this," Jimmy said, reaching for a plush pelican on the shelf. 

"What's with all the pelicans anyway?" asked Perry White, still scrutinizing the chewing gum at the counter. "They're even on the dramamines."

"National bird of Syldavia, Chief," said Jimmy, digging into his pocket for his wallet. "There's even one on the flag. It was in the brief." 

"I don't read the briefs."

"More of a boxers guy. Right, right."

"What's that?"

Jimmy unzipped his wallet. "She's gonna get such a kick out of this."

Perry yawned toward the ceiling. "Get it while you can, I guess. If Muskar's brother really is dead, this place is a powder keg. Have we decided whether he's an earl or a duke? Grab me a drink with that, will ya? None of that mineral water, either. Is that all they drink in this Balkan nightmare?" 

"Fraid so," came a voice. Perry smelled the man's breakfast–whisky–before he spotted him by the the window lighting his pipe. "Haddock," the man grunted, extending a grimy hand. Later, Perry would swear he saw a moth escape the old dog's blazer.

Perry took Haddock's hand, and in it he found a small flask. He shook his head, and the captain put it back in his blazer. "On your way out?"

"Would that we were," grumbled Haddock. "We're on the case." 

"The case?" asked Perry. "You don't mean the alleged assassination?"

"Kidnapping's more like it. That's what the boy says. But there was a purloining too. Hence…" and he nodded over his shoulder at the wall of stuffed pelicans. 

A young man in a blue sweater was pulling the toys down and taking a pen knife to their swollen beaks. Dozens now littered the floor, all of them ruined. 

"What's that overgrown kewpie doll doing to those birds?" Perry asked. 

"Tintin? He thinks the agricultural minister stashed the crown jewels in one of their gullets." 

When Perry looked back, the young man was gone. Then from the floor by the counter, Jimmy shouted "Golly!" with as much venom as Perry'd ever heard from the boy. Tintin had wrestled Jimmy to the carpet, and they were both grappling at the last pelican. 

"Ten thousand thundering–Tintin, what are ya at, lad?!" howled Haddock, diving into the fray. 

"Two of them," said Perry to no one in particular. "I've suddenly developed gingervitis." 


Tintin vs. Jimmy Olsen

Who wins?

Show your work!


  1. Jimmy Wins, that kid is scrappy as all get out and also one of the luckiest bastards this side of Rick Jones. He’ll get out of this just like he gets out of everything, just barely and with a lot of luck.

  2. It’s a photo finish.

  3. Snowy wins.

  4. I feel a bit of patriotism here. Go Tintin!!!

  5. Tintin wins because he’s the pure heroic figure, but doesn’t hurt Jimmy that much. The two team-up and kick some smuggler ass.

  6. Its a draw. Great one Paul.  they’re two of my all time fave comic characters.

  7. I agree with @davidtobin100, the two eventually team up and take down the bad guys.

    Meanwhile, Haddock and Perry go looking for booze and tail.

  8. Heart says Tintin, but head says Jimmy.

  9. Gingervitis wins.

  10. Tintin gets him on the ropes, but then jimmy calls for back up.