Sinestro vs. Magneto
"Sinestro? It's Erik."
"No one ever starts a phone conversation like that."
"Listen, I'm moving. Could use a hand with all this. Totally overwhelmed."
"You've got some money. Call up an X-Haul truck and have some of your peons do it."
"X-Haul. Is that supposed to be funny?"
"You people have an unhealthy obsession with that letter."
"I didn't start it. But yes, it's a bit of a branding thing gone amok. What do you mean 'you people'?"
"Where are you moving? Space is nice."
"I've tried space, but I'm actually moving to a compound in Missouri. Wonderful school system."
"Bit late for that, I think."
"Anyway, can you come over and help with this. I've got a lot of my mutanitarian awards boxed up, but there's all the pianos. I'll order Thai."
"I don't know what that is."
"I'll order pizza."
"I don't know what that is."
"It's yellow, mostly."
"You see right through me. As if you're using…an X-ray."
"Point to you. Oh, come on. You can make a big yellow scooper thing and we'll be through in minutes."
"A big yellow scooper thing."
"Like a claw machine claw."
"Those never pick anything up. Have you ever actually been to a Sahara Sams? You'd be a terrible lantern."
"If I concede to that, will you just come over?"
"I don't know, Erik. I really don't want to come all the way out there. There's a Pawn Stars marathon I'm in the middle of."
"That's On Demand."
"Not all of season one."
"I have that on DVD. We can watch it while we work."
"Can't you move it with your genetic situation?"
"Don't call it a genetic situation. And no, because I can't control wood or cardboard or corduroy."
"What's corduroy?"
"It's a fabric. A textile similar to twill. Often categorized by the width of its wale texture and–"
"I know what corduroy is. I mean what in your home is corduroy?"
"The couch. It's Ikea."
"I picture your house all minimalist and metal. Don't tell me you've got tea lights and shag and corduroy sofas."
"You'd know what it looked like if you ever responded to my e-vites."
Sinestro vs. Magneto
Who wins?
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I read a whole damn mini-series of this.
*I would
Magneto laughs out loud when he senses a small amount of iron in the Qwardian yellow ring and removes it, leaving the weapon destabilized, only to later explode in Sinestro’s hand, who runs away bleeding badly and swearing revenge… To be continued?
PS: Paul, you’re awesome 🙂
This is a first one to attack wins situation.
I also feel that Sinestro wouldn’t be considerate enough to help Magneto move and not break stuff.
The thing with Sinestro is that you have to get him on your side by getting him to fight for a common goal, or else he’d be a super stubborn bastard. So what we’re dealing with here is a battle of who can persuade people better, which is a battle that Magneto wins hands down.
Let’s look at the teams that both men spearheaded. Sinestro has the Sinestro Corps, which is indeed quite big and powerful. But did Sinestro REALLY have to do alot of work to get all those members on his side? “Arkillo, join the Sinestro Corps.” “Why?” “Because you inspire fear. I gotta go, but here’s a yellow ring that will explain the rest.”
Magneto, on the other hand, is a master at getting people to join his cause? Brotherhood Of Evil Mutants? Acolytes? Age Of Apocalyspe X-Men? Magneto didn’t have to rely on a ring to get people to join his cause. He probably went to every single person in those big groups and convinced them himself. And even if some people denied his request, his success rate speaks for itself.
So Magneto handily wins this one. Sure, Sinestro will put up a hell of a fight, but since Mags is better at rallying people for his cause, he’ll wear him down and emerge victorious.
Utterly amazing, Paul.
After several more hours of cajoling and snide mutant references, Sinestro seemingly gives in and helps Magneto move. He is late, spends half the time gossiping with Toad, and is only willing to make one trip, but he does come. And just before he leaves, he leans over to Magneto, Mutant Master of Magnetism, and says, “By the way, could you give me a lift to the airport tomorrow?”
Trapped, Erik reluctantly agrees. “Great. Pick me up at 5am. And the airport… it is on Qward! Hahahahahahahaha!” Watching the yellow streak fade into the darkening sky, Magneto reached into his pocket and tears up the already prepared Thank You note. He would not cry. He. Would. Not. Cry.
Brilliant. Simply Brilliant.
I am delighted to have read this. Thanks Paul! You brightened my afternoon.
As for who wins, Lanterns have infinitely versatile powers, so advantage Sinestro. On the other hand, mutants are almost never without loyal friends, family, or followers close at hand. I could see Magneto asking an equal for assistance with his valuables rather than allowing underlings to paw through them, so it seems reasonable to me that he’s got support nearby. So assuming Sinestro comes to him, alone of course, Sinestro being not one for the buddy system, then advantage Magneto.
I guess it would depend on (1.) the amount of ferrous metals present [Advantage:Magneto], (2) the lack of blue rings present [Advantage: Sinestro], & (3.) How long the fight lasts [Advantage: Magneto, he don’t need no recharge].
In the end, just give Magneto a yellow ring, & they’ll get along fine.
@comicBOOKchris All of this is correct. All of it.
Sinestro by moustache
A power ring can do… ANYTHING! Magneto has no chance!
We all win? The fun thing to remember is that the modern conception of both these characters (at least since the 80/90ss with Sinestro, for Magneto at least since Claremont first used him) is that they’re not explicitly EVIL, they’re more misunderstood, misdirected guys who approached things with logical, militaristic Imperialism (Sinny) or using violence and brute force to promote a cause (Maggy). So I have to say, it’s tie and that Sinestro helps Magneto rid the world of species-ism while in return, Magneto uses his powers to make Sinestro the top cop. Bosom Buddies/Perfect Strangers type comedy ensues. (Imagine Sinestro as Balkie!?)
You know I’m kind of annoyed by the number of times I read one of Paul’s masterpieces and my only thought is “we all win.” Look stop being so damn talented. Jerk. Making everybody else look bad.
Sinestro bubbles up and heads over to Magneto’s house. Seeing as how he seems to know about Magneto’s power (kind of hard not to) The bubble probably somehow ignore’s magnetism or whatever, it’s a power ring, it can do anything. Magneto would have to act quicker then Sinestro’s thought to I assume either control his body if there is enough iron in it (you know those korugan body functions) or the ring assuming it has metal. If Magneto gets first draw he wins, if not Sinestro has it.
Good stuff!
Magneto could just steal the ring off his hand with this power. unless its made out of stone or something!
The rings are made of metal? I always thought they were made of hard light.
I’m laughing too hard to show any work. “What’s corduroy?” Hilarious.
I’m a diehard Magneto fan, but ya just can’t beat a lantern with magnetism. Sinestro wins.
@Cooleo: No one can “steal” anyone’s power ring off their finger unless they’re dead. Even then the rings are pretty hard to contain. Magneto’s good, but he’s not that good.
@JumpingJupiter I always thought that too. I couldn’t find out what the rings are made of but the batteries are made of a unique metal accroding to wiki
Magneto is obviously toying with Sinestro. All he has to say is “Well,at least my daughter isn’t doing Kyle Rayner” and the day is his.
@Aalbatr0ss: Haha. I’d say Magneto’s kids have much more serious problems than dating Kyle Rayner. They should be so lucky. Soranik is a golden child compared to Wanda and Pietro.
I’m gonna have to go with ‘Ol Mags.
Speaking of Wanda and Pietro, this made me laugh a lot:
“I’ve tried space, but I’m actually moving to a compound in Missouri. Wonderful school system.”
“Bit late for that, I think.”