Tuesday Showdown: Matty Roth vs. Yorick Brown

Tuesday Showdown: Matty Roth vs. Yorick Brown

Matty Roth vs. Yorick Brown

It was a small town; somewhere quiet, out of the way.  The place had probably looked better.  Now it looked like at least a couple of different armageddons had swept through.  The sun tried to peek through the clouds, and Yorick sat there looking up thinking the sky reminded him of the mist hanging in the air in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

"Great movie," he said to the monkey who sat scratching his backside and alternately examining his finger.

"I miss going to movies," came the haggard voice from behind.

Yorick didn't look up.  There was only one person it could be, with that male voice. 

"You can't write the story. It will ruin everything," he told Matty Roth.

"How can I not write the story? You're the last one," replied Matty, wary of the monkey. Matty had never liked monkeys since the party his dad threw for his sixth birthday. He'd pulled out all the stops, and hired a virtual circus, probably to make up for the fact that he was never around.  The screaming monkeys made Matty cry that day, and he hadn't liked simians ever since.

"If I'm really the last one, how do you explain yourself?" Yorick said after a moment.

"I'm a journalist.  Objective, not a part of the story.  I'm a non-entity," Matty replied, his voice flat.

"Yeah, and it was safe to keep the beaches at Amity open through the 4th of July."


"Nothing," Yorick sighed, tiring of no one getting his references. "But you and I, we've got a real problem, and you're not gonna put me in your story."

"Then we do have a problem."

Matty Roth vs. Yorick Brown

Who Wins?

(Show your work)


  1. I’ve never read DMZ, but I’m going to go with Yorick.

    As for my work? I couldn’t find a picture from the sequence, but it involves a gas mask, a night stick, and a bloody-ass Israeli chick.

  2. ooOOoo, good one

  3. Matty’s had to learn to live in a hard world, but not nearly as hard as Yorricks.  He was tortured for a time, sure, but Yorrick was raped, and even had that whole dominatrix thing going on.  Yorrick’s definatley got this down, remember how baddass he was in issue 59?  Oh, spoilers btw….

  4. Matty slaps Yoriick on the back of the head and screams, "Stop being a fascist and tell me your story asshole!"

    Yorick stands up, rubing the back of his heaad, glaring at Matty.  "I got a story for ya!"  He extends his middle finger and flicks Mattys nose.  They both get into each others face and beging talking shit to one another.  After a few minutes of this Zee yells, "Come on and fight allready you pussys!"  355 snops open a beer and hands it to Zee then tacks a swig off her own brew.  They are both sitting nearby.

    Yorick and Matty crash into each other and begin to grapple violently.  However, the fight quickly degrades into hair pulling and half hearted ruber arm puss punches.  Zee and 355 look on in contempt as the two guys stumble around, screaming in hight piched voices.

    Zee shakes her head and nudges 355s shoulder.  "Where would these two insipid jackass guys be without there strong willed kickass independent lady friends?"

    355 cracks a holf smile.  "They would be the stars of some VERY short comic series."

    They both chuckle and tink there beers as they watch the fight.

    Its a draw.



  5. Yorick tries harder.

    Case in point: Look at the beard.

    Yorick could obtain almost any girl in the world, yet he still shaves. If you were Yorick you wouldn’t have to move, you could just sit still for the rest of your life playing call of duty never having to eat or use the restroom. Women would come to you even if you were bathing in your own feces, yet he shaves. For this simple fact I believe that Yorick could defeat Superman.

  6. No contest: Yorick was trained by 355 and became kind of a badass at the end with a baton. Plus, ampersand could jump in and scratch matty’s eyes out

  7. Unfortunately, that morning Yorick drank 2 liters of comtaminated V8 juice, which he proceeds to spew all over Mr Roth’s shoes.  Assuming (as any rational reader would) that they’re covered in magical-monkey-plague-infected blood, Matty ditches his Timberland knockoffs and makes a run for it barefoot.  Unfortunately, this slows him down so much that by the time he makes it to a computer, LIberty News Network has gone out of business due to lack of ad revenue.  He starts a clog (cave-wall-blog) where his story gets 5 uninspired comments.    

  8. That’s an easy one! Yorick is the last man on Earth, so Matty doesn’t exist. Just a figment of Yorick’s imagination.

    *dusts hands* That’s the end of that chapter. 🙂

  9. @TNC: yeah, but matty’s embedded in the no man’s land.

    check and mate

  10. Matty has more weapons.

  11. I feel bad making my choice, but since Y is the greatest series I own, and I’ve only a few DMZ trades I’m going to have to side with Yorick.

    Like other users have said, when Y put on his gas mask and used 355’s stick thing to fight, it was the greatest moment in comics. The young boy became a man, a great scene to be sure.

    I haven’t had that feeling yet with DMZ, and don’t feeling we’re building to it the way Y did, so Y: The Last man wins hands down.

  12. Matty certainly has the edge here with sheer grittiness. I’d rather hang out with Yorick Brown, but Matty Roth is the ass kicker of the two.

  13. Ampersand.

  14. Nice synergy here.  I’m pretty sure the answer is, "They both eventually get their ass kicked by a girl."

  15. Maybe I should read some DMZ.

  16. Even after his time spent with 355, Yorick was still a pretty pathetic fighter. Though I have yet to read DMZ, my money is on Matty based simply on Yorick being a wimp.

  17. This is probably the best one yet. Nice pull, Josh.

    I’m inclined to agree with everyone who said the women will win. Both Zee and 355 are more bad ass than either of the male characters. The ladies, gentlemen, are about to kick their asses.


  18. I’m with @ohcaroline on this one. I’d imagine there’d be a lot of arm flailing and slapping until 355 comes along to kick their butts.

    Also, I’d rather sleep with Yorick.

  19. Matty would ruin Yorick.  He’s a quick-thinking punk-rock street tough.  Yorick is a nerdy bookworm.

  20. Matty loses interest in the fight when he discovers he is in a world full of horny women and Yorick is too much of a sentimental pussy to indulge in any girly-action.  Matty heads out for perpetual sex and later dies from accumulated STDs.  Matty’s thousands of offspring rise up and kill Yorick’s threatening bloodline.  The population’s genome bottlenecks and all humans die from simian-flu.

     Ampersand wins!

  21. Yorick is bit of a winging little bitch so Matty wins easy.

    @WonderAli "Also, I’d rather sleep with Yorick" You crazy, girl. Matty is hawt XD

  22. I meant whinging.

  23. Matty is a dirty fighter who will do anything to win his desired outcome, but that ultimately works against him in this situation, as the rest of the world around him is made up of women who think that Yorick is the way hotter of the two, so they all leap to pull Matty off before he can cause any damage.

    Then it is pointed out to him that Liberty News is now run entirely by liberated women, sorry, probably wymmyn, and no one’s interested in his male viewpoint anymore except as a novelty, so he ought to play nice.

    Matty, fully incapable of playing nice with anyone, wanders off to sulk, wondering if Descartes will rebound on him in an "I don’t write therefore I am not" sort of way since his existence in this world was contingent on his objective role as a journalist.  He determines that as long as someone is receiving his message, he will live on, so he becomes a street poet and gets lots of hippie tail.

  24. @edward: Damn, that actually is a good come back…..

    Well I mean Matty ‘No Man’s Land’ is a play on words. Yorick is literally the last man on earth, so how does Matty exist in this case?

  25. Depends. Is it Yorick as he is at the end of Y? Is it Matty when he first entered the DMZ? In the end I’d say Matty. Just cuz he’s started being a badass a lot sooner in his series, whereas Yorick was only a badass towards the end of his series. But It’d but one hell of a fight.   

  26. Pfft. Even old man Yorick could take out Matty.