Just the other day, I was over at our fine friends' site, Comics Alliance, when I came across this post about The 18 Weirdest 'Sexy' Halloween Costumes Based on Comics. Now I love good super hero/comics related humor and what's better than to point and laugh at the bizarre licensed Halloween costumes that exist. The sexy-ification of Halloween seems to have grown from the likes of "Sexy Nurse" to "Sexy Venom" in just a few years. It's amazing.
But then I got to thinking…what "sexy" comic book costumes would I rather see? With thousands of comic book characters, surely there are better options than "Sexy Wonder Woman" or "Sexy Emma Frost." Those are too easy. No, I'd rather see some original, challenging costumes. So here it is, the list of the "Sexy" Halloween costumes based on Comics that I wish existed. Hopefully someone at the Sexy Halloween Costumes factory is reading this and then next year will be much more interesting.
1. Sexy Thanos – If Thanos is one thing, it's sexy. That purple, wrinkled chin, the imposing boots and shoulder pads, and what's more sexy than the Infinity Gauntlet? Nothing.
2. Sexy M.O.D.O.K. – Yes, I know that there's been a "lady" M.O.D.O.K. in comics, but that's too easy. Nope, I just want a sexy version of plain old M.O.D.O.K. Imagine all the attention an attractive lady could get with her head enlarged and smooshed into the M.O.D.O.K. body? And those little arms? Adorable!
3. Sexy Man Thing – Admit it, you've had a crush on Man-Thing from the first time you saw him in the pages of Giant Sized Man-Thing. How better to fulfill your fantasy than to roll into your company's holiday party with Sexy Man-Thing on your arm?
4. Sexy Arsenal – Fresh from the pages of the hit comic book, Rise of Arsenal, we get Sexy Arsenal, complete with severed arm stump cap and a dead cat! You'll be all the rage with your comic book loving friends with this sexy version of the new icon hero of the 21st century!
5. Sexy Starro – It's no denying the tingle you felt the first time you saw Starro. I'm shocked that this sexy costume DOESN'T exist yet. Not only is it revealing, but it's mind controlling! Double win!
6. Sexy Volstagg – I don't know about you, but after reading a recent issue of Thor: The Mighty Avenger I saw Volstagg, one of the Warriors Three, and thought, "now there goes a sexy costume." Everyone always looks at the girl at a party sporting a beard AND a pot belly, after that they won't even notice the viking sword.
7. Sexy Spider-Ham: Peter Porker – Sure, any gal can dress up like a sexy Spider-Girl, but it's the girl who wants to be noticed that dons the power and responsibility of going as Sexy Spider-Ham. It truly is a Halloween costume that even Tom DeFalco could fall for.
8. Sexy Rick from The Walking Dead – Nothing's better than a timely, current and trendy Halloween costume, and this year is the year of The Walking Dead as the TV show is set to premiere on Halloween night. Show everyone you're on top of the trends with this cutting edge costume. Besides, you never know when you'll need to kill some zombies on the way home, so it's good to have that axe.
9. Sexy Alan Moore – Forget Zatanna, the magician everyone wants to be this year is Sexy Alan Moore! The key to pulling off this ultra sexy costume is to also criticize party goers for not calling you to thank you for the Halloween Candy.
10. Sexy Thomas Jane – It doesn't get much sexier than this. 'nuff said.
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I was quite shocked seeing the title of this article. I find that you guys seem to refrain from being overtly comiperv. When I clicked the link I was presently surprised with numbers 9 and 10. Wowza!
Wow was there really a comic called Giant Sized Man-Thing? OMG that fucking hilarious. I’m actually digging the Starro costume idea Ron. Last year I went as Sexy Thomas Jane ala his Punisher.
the girls at the Glitter Factory where sexy Alan Moore outfits, all the time.
Sexy Arsenal made me laugh very hard. I’m glad you included the dead cat. But the one that made me laugh the hardest was Sexy Alan Moore. Great job.
Other sexy costumes we need: Sexy Lockjaw, Sexy Galactus and Sexy Darth Vader.
so much genius in this article. the sexy volstagg did me in
What, no sexy Arseface?
if this list proves anything, it’s that stumps are no longer oddities in our society, but absolute symbolms of pure 100% sexyiness!
I chuckled at Sexy MODOK. Sexy Arsenal had me snorting with laughter. Well played!
Sign me up for sexy Walking Dead female cop as soon as I get the ax away from her. DAMN!!!
Matthew
@Wicked. Epic Win!
Gah! Sexy Alan Moore! I’ll never sleep again.
I’m actually wearing my Tom Jane costume as we speak. Students keep asking me to button my shirt and I just keep winking at them.
Ron and I must have different (very) definitions of sexy.
heh, what is this, Wizard Magazine?
(I’m just disappointed I didn’t think of a sexy Alan Moore costume when I still had time to grow out the beard)
I laughed so hard at this that there’s a good chance you’re going to hell for it
I laughed so hard just now that I fell out of my chair. Cheers Ron.
Ron’s got a thing for amputees.
HAHAHAHA! Oh man, that’s good stuff. I can’t decide which one was more disturbing: sexy man-thing or sexy Alan Moore.
Three words, Sexy. Rocket. Racoon.
These are … I can’t even … I don’t … oh forget it.
Well done sir.
Hilarious. Laughing at work and have passed this link along. Well played indeed.
I was fine until sexy Alan Moore. Sex drive is now non-existant.
I guess missing limbs is in this year, who knew?
No Batgirl? 😛
A coworker walked past when I was reading the article and asked where the Sexy Stay Puft Marshmallow Man was.
Wow, this article is full of Ron’s comedic win. Nice.
Funniest article yet…
@Jimmy – Thanks!
I can’t help but think Sexy Gorilla Grodd would be funny, but who wants to spend all night picking hair out of their teeth.
What!?! No Sexy Groot?
Jesus, I lost it at Sexy Alan Moore. Well done!
Sexy man-thing had me laughing long and hard…
And sexy Alan Moore will give me fuckinh nightmares
What in the living hell did I just witness?!
sexy alan moore.i actually laughed out loud for real
Woah, somebody got their hand’s on a photoshop book!
Sexy Spider-Ham has my vote.
It’s the way the Starro eyes are staring that makes it so disturbing. Worse if they follow you around the room.
what a fun sexy time you’ll have
Sexy Alan Moore might be the most epic costume idea history
*in history
My dream in life is to be the singer in a band called "Alan Moore’s Beard."
Sexy Arsenal totally works for me. Mmmm…amputees… 🙂
SEXY TOM JANE FTW!
An iFanbase member, Maggie, did do sexy Alan Moore. It’s in last year’s halloween costume.