200 Words with Paul Dini #46 – Paranoia

January 16, 2008

Up late, prowling the streets of Hollywood, looking for a Mexican restaurant I’m not sure exists. I’m surly and jacked up from drinking five vending machine Caribou Coffees. Hunger mixes with irritation and gradually gives way to paranoia. It’s four days until the inauguration. What if there’s a disaster? And what if it takes out both the outgoing President and the President-Elect? And furthermore, what if Vice President Cheney, who slimes into the oval office at the last minute and then declares martial law, has clandestinely orchestrated it all? And then… and then, what if he starts selling China prime pieces of America like Yellowstone and the Wisconsin Dells? And the reason he gives is that we must pump money into the government to make up for the bailouts to the banks and big corporations — that he secretly controls. My God, it’s brilliant! And then, pockets bulging with untold billions, the loathsome Surinam toad skips the US for his recently purchased island stronghold – Australia – just like Lex Luthor in Superman II. Yes, yes, it all makes sense. I finally reach the Mexican restaurant – it’s closed. Curse you, Cheney. Curse you, Caribou Coffee. I limp home to not sleep.


Paul Dini is the Emmy and Eisner Award winning writer of Batman: The Animated Series, Superman: The Animated Series, Detective Comics, Countdown among many, many other things. You can find him online at either kingofbreakfast.livejournal.com or http://www.jinglebelle.com/.



  1. Yes yes, that’s all well and good, but who the hell killed Laura Palmer?!

  2. …you are, once again, a very odd, if not insightful, man mr dini

  3. I think that was the plot of the abandoned season of 24.

  4. In the Dells, they came first for the Original Wisconsin Ducks, And I didn’t speak up because I was checking out Tommy Bartlett’s Robot World…..

  5. That’s slightly scarrier than my doomsday frear for the Obama inauguration. I just see them having a shoot out with Cheney in his office.

  6. …the flaw in your paranoia is the word "brilliant" something that has eluded the current Administration from day one.

  7. A: "What’s really scary is that Cheney and Obama actually work for the same people."

    B: "…The American people?"

    A: "HAHAHAHAHAHA! Good one."

  8. "Paul Dini is walking the streets thinking dark thoughts…"


    Paul knows Darrel?  🙂



    the Tiki 

  9. Mmmm…Mexican food.

  10. Are you sure you weren’t sleeping already? Sounds like a nightmare.

  11. No, Paul. Don’t give up so easily…









    …on the hunt for late-night Mexican food. You’re in L.A. – there must be something available.