200 Words with Paul Dini #27 – Big Fake

August 21, 2008


Last week two Georgia boys announced they had found an intact Bigfoot body and held a press conference in Palo Alto, California to reveal photos of the creature and DNA samples. 

Now whoa up there, Hoss. If you’ve got a Bigfoot body and you don’t want to schlep it coast to coast, what more proof do you need other than one of his big feet?  Simply cut one off and pass it around. Awfully hard to dispute a fifteen inch long big hunk of bone, hair, blood and muscle, that is, if you’ve got the genuine article.

Ah, but that’s the thing, Bo and Luke were pulling a hoax from the word go. Thanks to a Halloween costume probably purchased here.

They briefly caught the attention of the news media, made some fast money off tee shirts, interviews, and an even sleazier Bigfoot “hunter” who foolishly advanced them some cash, and then split for parts unknown. Chances are they will resurface soon as Hollywood comes sniffing around to purchase the story of their hoax for a movie, which was undoubtedly their intention all along. Bigfoot? Sorry monster lovers, the only beast those sleazebags were hunting was the almighty buck.

 


Paul Dini is the Emmy and Eisner Award winning writer of Batman: The Animated Series,Superman: The Animated Series, Detective Comics, Countdown among many, many other things. You can find him online at either kingofbreakfast.livejournal.com or http://www.jinglebelle.com/.

Comments

  1. For some reason, this creeped me out way more then it should’ve.  The night I heard about it I spent most of the night in bed with a yard stick ready to pounce.  I am a strange bird.

  2. Morons need to stop ruining Bigfoot for the rest of us.

    I want to believe.

  3. When I heard on CNN that Bigfoot had been found I freaked out.  Call me strange but I have always believed. Then when I heard it was a fake I was thoroughly disappointed.  People like these guys are what give true believers a bad name.

    And one other thing.  The govenment faked the moon landing (kidding).

  4. PymSlap (@alaska_nebraska) says:

    Hulk hate puny humans

  5. Maybe these guys will make an appearance in Proof.  That might be all kinds of awesome.

  6. I totally wanted to believe it.

  7. @Neb – THey should totally show up in PROOF!  And get eaten by fairies.

  8. I thought this was another Kirkman column. I kid, I kid.

  9. Actually, the second I saw the story on CNN, I was upset that they would give this story (and these guys) validation before there was any proof.  Once I started watching the press conference, I was embarrassed for the cable news outlets for airing what was obviously self promotion.  Bleh, this left a bad taste in my mouth.

  10. I SO wanted to believe this. Oh well…..Sasquatch eludes us again!

  11. I started laughing so hard when my buddy sent me the link to the story.  Even the picture looked like they shoved a dude in a bad wookie costume into a freezer.  The best part was one of the three possible stories they provided. "well, we just sorta stumbled on it and it had open wounds.  We just sorta let it die."  The other one had something to do with finding a "family" of bigfoots (bigfeet?)

  12. @Ansoon17 – Yeah, they had three seperate and distinct stories about how they found it.

  13. I believe in Bigfoot (holds election pin for Bigfoot)

    Even the local news team in my area couldnt keep a straight face for this story.

    Come on, you didnt need a study on this at all, it looked like a halloween costume to begin with…

  14. I know, i just can’t remember what the third one was.  They were all pretty comical though.

  15. What I find most disturbing is that the samples that were tested showed signs of DNA from a human and a possum. What the hell?!? Thats some crazy backwoods shit right there. Human/possum halfbreeds. That’s not a good thing.

    Though I hear Marvel Possums is going to be the best mini series Ev-er.

  16. Paul Montgomery (@fuzzytypewriter) says:

    This made me really angry too.  I believed in Bigfoot just as I believed in Harvey Dent.  Harvey Dent let me down.  But I still believe that Bigfoot is out there.  

  17. I have the urge to watch Harry and the Hendersons!

  18. @conor & josh – If you want to believe so much, just come on down to Georgia and visit the local Wal-Mart with me.  I spot at least 5 Bigfoots (Bigfeet? Sasquatches?) on every visit.

  19. Damn it, stuclach I was going to make the exact friggin’ joke with Wal-Mart and everything!  I live in Kentucky and I see them e’ry day.  Hell, I had to wrestle one for the last 12 pack of Dr Pepper!  (I won.)

    I believe the plural is ‘bigfootieux’.

  20. @ ultimatehoratio – I was born in Kentucky (Madisonville), went to college in Murray and Richmond, and grad school in Lexington.  Having been to every Wal-Mart in the state, I can confirm that Kentucky is overflowing with bigfootieux (I think my hand just broke).

  21. @stuclach – I live in Hazard.  Nine years at UK.  I think all the bigfootieux are refugees from Tennessee.

  22. @ultimatehoratio – Wow, nine years at UK.  You migth have had me (Chris Clark) for Economics.  I taught there for 2 years from summer ’02 – summer ’04.  I taught both Principles of Micro and Principles of Macro.

    What are the odds that 2 of the 8 people from Kentucky who are capable of using the internet would be on this website and posting in the same comment section?  Astronomically small.  (Not really knocking Kentucky, just a joke.  I loved/love Kentucky and may end up moving back there if a position opens up at one of the regional universities.)

  23. @ultimatehoratio- Sorry dude, I gotta do it.

    " You know a lotta people take 7 years to graduate from college."

    "Yeah, their called Doctors"

    RIP Chris Farley.

  24. I think I spotted a Bigfoot this morning in a McDonalds drive-thru when it he/she handed me my breakfast sandwich.

  25. @Kory – You know, he might actually be a doctor.  There is a community college there.  It’s possible. 

    I second the RIP Chris Farley comment.  I am reading his biograph "The Chris Farley Show" written by his brother and it is really, really good.

  26. @stuclach- I just could’nt resist with that one.  That scene came to mind when I read his post.  Tommy Boy is one of my favorite comedies.

  27. @stuclach – Actually I’m the official dentist of the iFanboy community.  I did my best to avoid any Economics courses.  Spent most of my time in the Chem/Phys and Biology buildings and then the UK Hospital where the dental school is located.  Oops, I was only at UK for 8 years.  I went to Georgetown College in Georgetown, KY my freshman year.

    We’re allowed to make fun of Kentucky because we’re from there.  "F.U.B.U."

    I dated a Bigfoot once.  She smelled like possum.

  28. @stuclach – I was long gone by the time you were there.  I grad-yee-ated undergrad in ’95 and dental school in ’00.

  29. @ultimatehoratio – I have a caraway seed stuck and my bridgework and I can’t seem to get it out.  Any advice? 

    My wife taught at Georgetown College for two years (also Economics).

    Most of the Bigfootieux I knew were asexual freak monsters, so no dating.

    Was that road kill possum or huntin’ possum?  They’s diffen’ smells, ya know?

  30. @stuclach – Go to the dentist!

  31. @ultimatehoratio – I’m actually allergic to dentists, so that’s a no go…  I guess I will just try chewing harder.

  32. I thought that Bigfoot was supposed to be around Oregon, Washington, or Canada.  Why so many sightings in the South?  Wouldn’t it be a bit hot for him there?

  33. @Kwertee-  There are Bigfoot sightings in almost every state.  Most are bogus to begin with.  If bigfoot were real he would likely be found in Canada.  There are certain places in the Canadian wilderness that have never been explored.

  34. How big are your balls… or how dumb are you… to go on tv and lie.  Flat-out LIE?  I mean, assuming you’re not the president or anything. 

     They had no plan on how to pull this off.  Just got the ball rolling and then couldn’t stop it. 

  35. @Crippler – Weren’t they promoting something?

  36. An agenda in Iraq?  Ooops, no wait.. wrong guy again. 

    hehe. sorry. no more lame political jokes

    I thought that they were just promoting themselves and selling the story for money.  In this day and age, you can’t just load up the freak show in the middle of the night and skip town.  Someone’s going to find you!  … and in this case….

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article4572064.ece

    it looks like the long arm of the law has caught up with them, sort of.  The guy was a cop!  How dumb is that? 

  37. So is Conor trying to pull a hoax of his own by posting as Paul Dini? Who wrote this, Paul Dini or Conor, because it says it was posted by Conor.

     That aside, it seems to me those 2 idiots were just hoaxing for beer money or something.