Earlier this week I put publicly on this site that Jeff Parker was one of the best creators of 2011. Along with this title, he has done a hell of a job showcasing his talents and proving you don’t need a label to be a great writer. So with his first issue of the new year for Thunderbolts I expected to be filled with a lot of punching and great characterization that you’d normally get from this title. Boy…..I really need to keep my mouth shut sometimes.

This is as textbook as you can get when it comes to a comic book. Let me give you a reason why it’s so textbook:

The story has a particular character doubting himself and confronting his fears and eventually beating them to prove he’s more then what he thought. Oh and he was also tricked into this situation by a character he didn’t expect.

Sounds original? Of course it fucking doesn’t! It’s the same story you’d get in a lot of comics these days (especially when you have Scarecrow or the Marvel rip off in this with Mr. Fear) and by god did this issue bore me to tears. Look, I love it when Parker uses Luke Cage because he’s one of the few writers who can write him without sounding like a token African-American superhero from the 1970s. But again you get this story so many times that I could easily tell what was going to happen before it happened. Then you have this other B-plot involving F.A.C.T. and like how the comic addresses it; we’ve already been down this path so what’s the point of bringing them back so quickly?

Then you add on even more problems with the pretty mediocre art by Matthew Southworth. His style certainly fits the title and the talent can be there. I like his snow effects to a certain extent; but then it feels like God needs to take some Head and Shoulder and it clutters up the panels. When we get into the dream sequences though that’s when the book becomes hard to read. There are two back to back double page spreads and it looks so rushed and hard to follow (with tiny, tiny panels) that it gave me a headache. I see where the creativity is in these pages but with these ugly pencils and muddy colors (which is a BIG problem late in the issue) it’s just an eyesore to read.

I sure wish Jeff Parker could have brought more to this issue then a cookie-cutter plot. It’s predictable and boring to read which makes it so depressing because he does write Luke Cage incredibly well 9.5/10 times. But with the boring story and ugly pencils by Southworth there is just no way I can recommend this issue. Just skip this if you can and wait for the next issue. I have to believe it can’t get any worse then this.