Hellboy vs. The Incredible Hulk
Kicking Horse Pass, British Columbia, 1962
A helicopter appeared out of the clouds and deposited a burly, red-skinned man in an overcoat right there on the mountainside. Ranger Milquetoast watched the stranger come shimmying down into the valley, cursing himself as rocks and saplings dislodged under his hooves. Hooves, thought Charlie Milquetoast, now that's different.
"Look as if you fell asleep on a beach," the ranger said once Hellboy had reached the truck. He gestured at Hellboy's exposed chest. "Got beaches out there in Colorado? That's a joke, son."
"Heard you got somethin'." Hellboy said.
"Oh, he's a big fella'," said the ranger, hiking up his pants, untucking them from his socks. "Green as a Granny Smith."
"Green," Hellboy repeated, looking out over across the valley.
"Bigger than you, I'd think."
"Anything else?"
"He's green enough and big enough so as you'll know him when you see him. Don't confuse him with the little furry things. Those are likely to be tree squirrels."
Hellboy bit his lip. "I read ya."
Thunder grumbled up in the parchment white sky.
"That was bitchy of me," said Milquetoast, extending a hand. "Just jittery."
Before Hellboy could accept the man's hand, it was gone. As was much of Milquetoast's right arm and shoulder. Hellboy registered the visual before the sickening sound, something like the strap on one of those prototype velcro shoes unfastening in an instant. The ranger did a stutter step, looking at the space where his arm had been, before sinking to his knees.
That hadn't been thunder.
Hellboy unholstered his gun and reeled around, scanning the bushes. A green giant crouched by the river, slapping Milquetoast's arm against a rock.
"Ho, ho, ho." muttered Hellboy, taking aim.
Hellboy vs. The Incredible Hulk
Who wins?
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Hulk wins! HULK IS STRONGEST ONE THERE IS!
Hellboys fires at Hulk for a while Hulk throws hellboy against a rock wall, hell boy calls in BPRD and they take hulk away and recruit him for the team (Hulk is never defeated, just enticed to join a team.)
I’m glad it was regular Hulk, ’cause Red Hulk would have been more confusing. (‘Cause they’re both red.)
I’ll go ahead and echo gobo, Hulk is strongest one there is, therefor Hulk wins.
Game over.
MORE ADVENTURES OF RANGER CHARLIE MILQUETOAST PLEASE
AS ALREADY SAID HULK STRONGEST ONE THERE IS.
i love ya hellboy but hulk is strongest one there is
When exactly, has the Hulk torn off the arm of normal, innocent person? On several occasions they have claimed he has never killed an innocent. I think that fact is in dispute, between Hulk possessions, wars, and the like, but killing a simple Ranger is not his style… Unless that is not a simple ranger.
Turn back around Hellboy! Tentacles have emerged from where the arm once was and Milquetoast is now starting to look suspiciously like the host of an Elder God.
Hulk not like Calamari-Man! Smash, bam, boom. Hellboy and Dr. Banner enjoy a cigar.
Now you’ve got it.
HULK STRONGEST THERE IS
Brilliant thread jimbilly! Bravo! Both fellas rip apart milquetoast cthulu, and finish up bbq’ing various legs while knocking back a brewski. Hulk tries a cigar. Has to involve some arm wrestling.
Hellboy fires off a shot, but misses his mark. Hulk burrows into the earth and tunnels his way behind Hellboy. A green hand emerges from the ground and clamps around Hellboy’s ankle, then yanks him below. Mere seconds later, bloody red body parts are flung out of the crater. The dismembered Right Hand of Doom lands with a thud next to the dying Ranger Milquetoast. It proceeds to attach itself to where his arm was ripped off. Milquetoast rises like Lazarus and knows he must fulfill the prophecies of the Right Hand of Doom. But first, the Hulk must be defeated. And behold! The satiated Hulk is transforming back to his human self!
interesting match up since del toro is now working on the upcoming hulk tv series for abc/disney.
STRONGEST IS THERE HULK…crap…. screwed that up….