Ah, Halloween. The holiday that cosplayers both adore and abhor – it’s amazing thanks to the fact that we get to dress up and it’s socially acceptable – but it’s also terrible for the slew of cringe worthy costumes with bad fabric and fake muscles; non canon costumes and horrible abominations of characters we know and love. Walk into any Halloween store and see the packaged “superhero” costumes, and you will either find yourself laughing uncontrollably or weeping for the future of Halloween forever. But don’t take my word for it – check out the top ten choices for the most “WTF” comic book Halloween costumes.
He-Man
There’s something just so WRONG about fake muscles. I suppose this costume has some comic relief, but if someone was actually wearing it seriously… well…
Spider-Man
Again with the fake muscles. Also, Peter Parker is scrawny! That’s part of his geeky appeal!
“Sexy” Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Costumes
Just… no.
Lion-O
I feel like this is teetering on a weird furry line, and this mask (and the bizarre gloves) would give almost anyone nightmares.
Optimus Prime
“Hey, I have a great idea! I’m going to dress up like a giant robot for Halloween! Let me just put on this creepy mask and weirdly padded bodysuit! ALL OF MY MACHINE DREAMS ARE SUDDENLY REALIZED! TAKE THAT, MOM! I’M SOMETHING!”
“Sexy” Corset Wonder Woman
Diana would NEVER WEAR A FAKE CORSET AND A TUTU. Not even if she suddenly pursued a career as a burlesque dancer.
The Hulk
Someone hold me, I’m going to cry for a week now.
Clark Kent
Okay, why wouldn’t you just wear a Superman t-shirt under a nice suit? WHY THE FAKE MUSCLES, HALLOWEEN COSTUME MAKERS?! WHY?!
Sailor Moon
First of all, Sailor Moon is only 14 years old and even in the anime her skirt isn’t this short. Second of all, NOT CANON. *pushes glasses up nose*
Supergirl T-Shirt Costume
And here we have the female version of the big fake muscles. Tiny waist contouring and big fake drawn on boobies, YAY!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
You didn’t think it could get much worse than the “sexy” TMNT costume above, did you? Think again, as its male counterpart is just as terrible. At least if you get super wasted and fall over you won’t hurt yourself too badly? Only your pride.
Molly McIsaac dwells in a land of imagination where unicorns and superheroes are real. She frequently rants weirdness via twitter or on her blog.
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VERY funny! Especially the Optimus Prime one …
I haven’t seen anyone wear these in real life.
Sadly I have.
What’s worse is when people don’t know who they are. “I’m super-woman” or “wonder girl” they’ll say while wearing the “Sexy” Corset Wonder Woman outfit, I suppose that’s no less accurate than them saying it’s Wonder Woman.
I guess I just don’t understand ‘fun’.
I do feel a little bad at Halloween when all the ‘normal’ people dress up in costumes and the geeks get to tell them they’re “doing it wrong” and mock them behind their backs.
It’s not like I these people ever mock me when I don’t understand their fashion… Wait, no it totally is. Payback time.
Maybe they’re doing it right and the geeks are all wrong. Also – geeks are openly mocked and obtain no power from mocking regular people behind their backs.
@Grandturk
You mean Wonder Woman is suppose to wear a corset and a tutu and the comics (and original creators) have been getting it wrong all this time? Haha, it all makes sens now 😛
That was kind of my point, geeks are often mocked for not wearing “the right” cloths or keeping up with current fashion trends (at least in my personal experience) Halloween is when the tables are turned and we get to face palm and say “Woah! Really you’re going to wear THAT?” I’m not saying it’s right but it is satisfying.
I’d rather see “sexy” than “right” any day of the week. Of course, when it’s both at the same time – hoo ahh!
I saw a girl dressed as a Transformer once, years ago, and it was amazing. This was before the horrible movies came out. She’d taken a bunch of cardboard boxes and colored them appropriately and it looked fantastic.
I was looking at potential Supergirl costumes for my 2-year-old daughter. There were two varieties available: solid pink with silver lining (wat?) that looked like a bad stripper outfit, and the one with the proper colors that comes with a make-up kit for no reason. Our society can’t help but undermine it’s own feminist icons.
Our society needs better feminist icons (and more of them).
I’m not hating on Supergirl but almost all female superheros tend to show more skin than their male counterparts.
Male Halloween costumes tend to be just as cheaply made and inaccurate but it’s harrowing to look at what they get wrong and how that reflects our couture.
I’m often depressed at the world we live in.
I agree that our society needs better feminist icons. It’s a really strange time to be a woman. On the one hand, I’m living in a world where I have so much more than the women who came before me. It’s socially acceptable for me to have a job, a college education, to be in my 30’s and without children, etc. etc. I am no longer judged solely on my abilities to have children and run the home while my man is working to provide the funds. On the other hand, I’m still living in a world where a lot of people/corporations/politicians still do not understand how to treat and respect women. It’s a strange dichotomy to be sure.
But I don’t think that the issue here is necessarily about feminism or sexism. It’s really more about our society’s preoccupation with appearances and their standard of beauty. Don’t get me wrong, I could go on and on and on about slutty Halloween costumes and the way women are portrayed. But as I scrolled through and read all the captions about the ridiculousness of fake muscles and it struck me that men, too, have hoops to jump through.
The real issue here is that advertising, media, and corporations all want you to hate yourself so you buy their products to make you better. From fake muscles to (quite literally) titilating Halloween wear to Rogaine, to beauty products, to plastic surgery. There are a lot of people profitting from making people feel like they aren’t okay. According to these people, women need to wear revealing clothes and men need to wear fake muscles.
These are all AWESOME!!!
Maybe, I have poor taste, but I like the Sexy TMNT costumes and the Wonder Woman costume. Nice:)
It’s not what’s on the outside, but what’s on the inside that counts.
I would like to go on record as saying I saw nothing wrong with any of the female costumes shown here. 😉
I know, right. Just…yes. Splinter would be proud.
Never in my life have I ever complained about a woman wearing a ‘sexy’ anything costume. Nor will I ever complain about it, no matter how inaccurate it is. Gentlemen and ladies, that’s what Halloween is all about, dressing up in clothes that make you look good, Suits or other kinds of dress up for guys, and slutty wear for women.
One year, my best costume idea ever, My best friend and I dressed up as the Blues Brothers. We looked awesome. Sunglasses at night and everything.
I don’t get the fake muscles thing, either. And only dress up as devils or monsters if the costume allows you to show skin, and it looks good showing that skin. Otherwise, I don’t get it in the same way as the fake muscles confuse me.
Really? That’s what it’s all about? I thought it was about honoring dead saints or honoring the dead in general (if you go back to the original Pagan tradition).
Kid’s these days know nothing of tradition 😛
Seriously though, being from England, I know some girls (I hate to generalize) have always used Halloween as an excuse to dress ‘slutty’ but until very recently everyone dressed up as ghouls, ghosts or monsters. If you dressed up as anything else, like your favorate fictional character people would think you were weird (especially if you were a guy trying to look ‘cool’).
It seems to be a very American thing be just “dress up as whatever” for Halloween but it’s slowly coming over to the UK.
On an unrelated note I do find it interesting how Christianity has co-opted (or stolen) pagan festivals (like the Harvest Festival or Winter Solstice) as an excuse to promote their religion. And now capitalism is taking them over as an excuse to sell crap and make money.
It says a lot of about the development of society, I could write a paper on it.
In fact I probably will.
“that’s what Halloween is all about, dressing up in clothes that make you look good,” — In the words of Lex Luthor “WRONG!”
Oh boy… someone’s been dipping into the history books again. Halloween isn’t about saints or pagans or anything like that anymore – its about candy for kids, dressin’ up and getting shitfaced at a party. If you can’t groove with that, you can stay home and throw down some Black Lotus cards with your best M:TG buddies.
@Grandturk
Oh I plan to (M:TG FTW!) either that or I’ll write that essay on capitalism as the chosen system of control of the 21st century taking over from Christianity and adopting their traditions much like they did with the Pagan traditions before them (I wasn’t joking about that) obviously it won’t be for University or anything I write essays for fun sometimes.
But you have fun at your drunken party. I hope you end up shacking up with an intoxicated young lady, who you then pursue a healthy relationship with, after a pregnancy scare you realize you can’t imagine a life without her so you get married, have two beautiful kids and live a normal, fucking, happy life.
Yea! You go do that! Be normal!
lol – good stuff.
Well, I guess I should have said, “to me,” its about all that stuff. If it has to be about something religious to you, well that is your business. If you are stuck in ‘tradition’ for everything, that’s your deal too. And if everything in your life is about contradicting someone else, go ahead too. My life is more about having fun, learning all I can learn, and helping others. Halloween falls under the ‘having fun’ category to me. I can’t imagine getting as angry about this as some people. I agree though, kids today know nothing about tradition, but some traditions deserve to die. As a teacher, I don’t see much in the way of a lot of children worried about tradition, not that it is such a bad thing.
@Vidman
That’s my exact philosophy too, just have a re-read of my comment and it’s clear I’m just messing with you guys, it’s all in good fun.
How could the line “get married, have two beautiful kids and live a normal, fucking, happy life” be taken as a serious insult? 😛
Like all traditions and holidays, they’re inherently about NOTHING, they’re about what you make them.
They’re a collective excuse to have a party.
Even the Church knew Jesus wasn’t actually born the 25th of December that was just the date they choice to celebrate it. There’s a great line from the show Community “The meaning of Christmas is the idea that Christmas has meaning. And it can mean whatever we want” and that applies to Halloween (and all other Holidays too).
I’m not religious I just enjoy messing with people who claim to have a definitive ‘reason’ for things (which is probably why I never got along with my teachers in school).
Anyway, stay chill and have a happy October 31st, whatever meaning you give it! 😛
Ha, I’m not really seeing the problem with the Sailor Moon one. Not canon? Well I guess that’s a problem
I’d sail that moon any day.
That was a damn good pun, I salute ye
haha these are all great!!
i saw a Sexy Freddy Krueger….that is just insanity, although as a character she would probably be very effective at killing.
i would offer the entire women’s costume section of Party City. Not because every single one is a “sexy” whatever, but because they are all exactly the same costume with only slightly different accessories.
Mayhap ifanboy should run a contest where we send in pictures of ourselves in these wickedly delightful costumes. Perhaps doing…strange…things?
The Lion O is my favorite/worst….the ice blue crotch, man….the crotch!??
I dressed as a TMNT when I was 4 for Halloween. My mom got me green long johns and painted my face and my dad got a green plastic trash can lid and put arm straps in it so i could wear it on my back. As cheap looking as it was, it was still a lot better then any of these.
I think that is the problem with most costumes is that people just go out and spend a crap ton of money on something that was cheaply made and will fall apart buy the end of the night. The best costumes I see every year are the ones that people make themselves. You can just see the Love that went into making them.
SO MUCH FUNNY!!!! Wow… it’s true… why the fake muscle? WHY?
The last TMNT was terrible. I think the closest one to good was the sailor moon…
How are any of these “WTF” inspiring or funny?
Optimus Prime’s groin is staring at me with giant, unblinking cat eyeballs.
When I first saw the He-Man almost got it, nostalgia almost got the best of me.