Just in time for New Year's Eve…
I have two vices that I happily and, somewhat blindly, spend a fair chunk of change on weekly: comics and the proper tools needed to become imbibed. I love the feeling of picking up a large stack of new comics on Wednesdays, and I also thoroughly enjoy congregating with my friends at the bar for an evening of consuming ales and spirits. Then it had me thinking, which comic characters appreciate a finely crafted drink as much as I do?
Listed below are comics most notorious consumers of alcohol and, if given the opportunity, would make a great drinking pal.
10. Heath Huston
This rugged Texan space-cowboy would be a blast to drink with. Already haven proven himself to be a good drinking buddy as seen on the comics of Fear Agent with Annie, his onboard A.I. unit, or in issue #16, "Twelve Steps in One", he takes down a group of money-hungry aliens that are using religion for profit and exploitation all the while extremely drunk.
9. Aaron Stack
A robot that loves beer could, and should, only be scribed by consummate 2-in-1 writer/drinker Warren Ellis, who appropriated this classic Marvel character to have an unending love for cold beer. The only downside I could find to drinking with this 'bot would be his ability to, without fail, drink you under the table.
8. John Constantine
Known for his charm, skills in the occult and ability to put those around him in danger, this surly Brit has been seen having a pint (sometimes of whiskey) at the pub time and time again. The only downside to drinking with this foul-mouth magician is the trouble he always finds when inebriated.
7. House of Mystery patrons
There is a bar that allows your to pay for drinks with stories, and the patrons that have been so lucky to have found the house would make excellent drinking partners. While the employed prisoners of the pub might be on the bitter side of things, the patrons as a whole would be an entertaining group to consume ales with.
6. Spider Jerusalem
Once again, Warren Ellis makes the list with his creation of comic's favorite journalist and addict. Not only is he a vulgar chain smoker, he is a heavy drinker and drug user. With a smoke clenched between his teeth, a bottle of whiskey in hand and what ever drugs he can pump into his body, this wild-card of a drinking pal would either open your eyes to a sleuth of political corruptness or send you on the wildest trip of your life.
5. Captain Archibald Haddock
There's nothing better then a salty ol' captain sailing the seven seas with a bottle of whiskey in hand. While a bit of a curmudgeon, Haddock would make a great drinking partner with his treasure trove of stories accounting his adventures and probably knows of some eccentric taverns around the globe. Not to mention Tin Tin's dog, Snowy, would be in close tow to lick-up any spilled whiskey.
4. Tony Stark
He is Iron Man, a billionaire playboy, a member of the Avengers and an alcoholic. Having faced his demons in the bottle, this scotch loving high-roller would offer a lush experience. You'd be drinking top-shelf spirits, surrounded by models and societies elite and there's a good chance he'd pick-up the tab. The negative effects would be his arrogance and ability to hog the spot light (and women).
When he's not fighting to protect the mutants from extinction, Logan (aka Wolverine) is most likely drinking his weight in beer – then doing it again. A plus to drinking with this brooding Canadian would be the comfort knowing you're protected in any bar fights that might erupt – Logan loves a challenge, especially if he can barely see straight.
Who would be more fun to drink with than the god of wine and revelry. He might be old and ugly, but the man (I mean god) still knows how to have a good time. Need I mention again that he is the god of wine and revelry?!?!
1. Jesse Custer & Cassidy
It would be impossible to end this list with anyone other than comics two biggest bad a$$es. A preacher with the voice of God and an Irish vampire – and both are fueled by whiskey. While they might not be the best drinking partners, for you're sure to find a fight, they would certainly show you the craziest night of your life.
Austin Hartman can be found skulking the bars and comics shops of New York City. He wants everyone to know he misses Ryan deeply and passionately in a way that cannot be explained by science. He's also convinced that he's done a shot with at least one person on this list, but the memory is fuzzy.
Please obey the law and only drink if you are of age. Drink responsibly and never drink and drive.