PHOTO: X-MEN: FIRST CLASS Marketing Lends Credence to Dazzler, Gaga Conspiracy

Lady Gaga has dominated the pop music scene with a flair for showmanship, a bold, over-the-top fashion sense, and mind-boggling elaborate stage shows. But what do we really know about this flamboyant songstress? Allegedly, her real name is Stefani Germanotta and she got her start dazzling audiences in Lower East Side night clubs.

But I can see straight through that poorly spelled alias. It's none other than mutant Alison Blaire, using her light-generating abilities to distract and deceive the good American people into believing she is the Queen of Pop. The clues are all there. I mean, I passed this on my way to work this morning…

And just look at the resemblence!

Dazzler…Gaga…..

Gaga…Dazzler…

    

 

 

 

Uma…Oprah….

      

 

I think the evidence speaks for itself.

Special thanks to David Gallaher for the tabloid lead. 

Comments

  1. Of course! It all makes sense now.

  2. This is the hard-edged journalism that I want from ifanboy.com

  3. @srh1son  I second that

  4. nahhh…Dazzler is FAR better than GaGa

  5. Did Marvel ever put out any Dazzler companion albums or singles? Missed the boat on that one. Just lookat Gorillaz.

  6. Is that Ethan Hawke in that Oprah pic?  Looks like he just got a marriage proposal rejected.

  7. Ethan Hawke comment is hilarious, thats exactly what it looks like.

  8. This is the most amazing peice in the history of the site.

  9. Am I missing something? What does Uma Thurman and Oprah have to do with Lady Gaga and Dazzler being one in the same?

  10. I would go to a dazzler movie midnight opening if it starred Gaga. That shit is too big to fail

  11. @WHATTHEDAST  David Letterman joke from the 1994 Oscars.  He just repeated their names as he introduced the two ladies to each other. 

    Just like repeating “Gaga… Dazzler” over and over.

  12. I waqs going to make a cheap joke about Lady Gaga then i realised somebody else on the internet may have beaten me to it

  13. No. Robyn as Dazzler or GTFO.

  14. Uma …just wow, I’d be on my knees too.

  15. @srh1son

    Thanks for the clarification