New CONAN THE BARBARIAN Teaser Lives, Loves, Slays…and is Content

This is the kind of trailer that makes me eat a freshly slain antelope on the roof of a Eurovan. Or something. 

Here, courtesy of Syfy is the teaser trailer for Conan the Barbarian, starring Jason Mamoa, Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan, Stephen Lang, and Rachel Nichols. 

And a whole lot of smoke. 

Really hoping for a sword and sandal slamdunk. But even if it doesn't turn out that way, all they've gotta do is release it theatrically with the John Milius and Arnold Schwarzenegger DVD commentary from the 1982 film adaptation, and they're set. 

 

 
Conan the Barbarian barbarians in August. 

Comments

  1. I’m usually fairly open minded but this was a terrible trailer, or teaser. The movie may be awesome of course so not judging the movie, but for me, it was probably the voice used in the trailer. LIke the guy was trying to go down where his range couldn’t take him. Felt like a collegehumor or funny or die trailer voice. But nope, this is the real thing. Good movie? Maybe. Bad Trailer? Yep!. 

  2. edward says:

    it’s bad.

  3. ccarney ccarney says:

    I will reserve judgement pending further evidence.

  4. clintaa says:

    I’m cautiously optimistic about this.  I really liked the director’s remake of texas chainsaw and really  hated his remake of friday the 13th.

    The original Conan is one of my favorite movies and not because of irony or nostalgia.  It’s a damn good movie. 

  5. jmstump jmstump says:

    @Jurassicalien  That’s pretty much what Jason Moma sounds like. He’s doing some weird announciation, but his “regular voice” really isn’t leaps and bounds different.

    Remember no matter how bad this film may be, we always have the original and tons of other Conan works birthed by Howard to enjoy.

  6. sonnysumo sonnysumo says:

    Why is this trailer telling me to join the Bavarian Army?! I don’t even like cream filled doughnuts!

  7. rhan rhan says:

    I’m cautiously optimistic, yeah thats just how Jason Momoa sounds. He was the best thing in Stargate Atlantis though…so here’s hoping…

  8. tack on “eats waffles” to the end of that monolgue and you have me.

  9. That teaser trailer wasn’t a tease at all. A teaser is supposed to want to make me see more. That did nothing for me. Still curious t see the movie, but that did nothing to enhance any excitement level in me. The still photos released recently did a much better job of making me want to see the movie.
     

  10. FoeApple FoeApple says:

    The leading actor for Conan looks wrong, wrong, wrong! I have very little faith for this. 

  11. I thought the actor looked to pretty also. 

  12. adrian adrian says:

    How is a trailer where you can barely see anything worth being released? It seems like most of the time teaser trailers are more lacking than a good start.

    Everything I’ve seen for this new Conan has not excited me one bit. It has a high bar to match and honestly, Rose McGowan and Rachel Nichols might be the only reason to go see it.

  13. Apotheosize Apotheosize says:

    @FoeApple  totally agree- not looking like Conan at all- bad casting

  14. clintaa says:

    I don’t think he looks completely off. I think if his hair was straightened it would make a huge difference.

  15. edward says:

    he actually looks exactly like the comic book conan, just not arnie

  16. JNewcomb JNewcomb says:

    This is going to ba a Conan movie.

  17. snake101 says:

    is that Roin from SGA?

  18. he eats… he prays… and he loves

  19. @clintaa  I don’t think they had flat irons in Cimmeria

  20. @edward you know what, you are totally right. i take back my earlier comment about that guy, he does look just like the dark horse conan in the books.  i guess arnie was too burned into my head as the film conan.  the book is fun too, so my feelings about this film just improved.

  21. Timmy Wood TimmyWood (@TimmyWood) says:

    Are there going to be monsters in this? I really wany Conan to fight monsters.

  22. icn1983 icn1983 says:

    I have no problem with Jason Momoa looks, sounds, or dances.  It just seems like he’s been cast in a terrible movie with bad dialogue.  “I live, love, slay, and am content” vs. “TO CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES, SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU, AND TO HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THE WOMEN!”

  23. icn1983 icn1983 says:

    That was a weird formatting error.  Oh well, throw a “how” somewhere in there.

  24. @TimmyWood  Every movie like this is better with monsters. Let’s hope!

  25. clintaa says:

    @JohnVFerrigno  They had steel and hot forges!

  26. PotatoPope PotatoPope says:

    A reminder, Arnold doesn’t look like what Conan should look like, this is more of an accurate depiction of R.E. Howard’s work.  Arnold got the role because he was popular at the time (huge gym movement around him).  This is what Conan should look like at the beginning of his career, slightly smaller so he can be a thief.  Later on in his career he should get bigger. 
    For the trailer, I would of preferred more scenes from the movie, but its a good teaser.