Everyone is mad again this week. But I said in my new year’s resolution column that I was going to be stepping back from the “outrage of the moment” culture that has become part of comics and I intend to stick to that. Instead, I thought I would try to find some harmony and inner peace by writing haikus about the books and storylines I’m currently enjoying.
–
Superman wears jeans
Story gets convoluted
Makes sense in the trade
–
Logan runs a school
Scott starts a revolution
Should work just fine, right?
–
Joker has no face
A man’s family falls apart
No crowbars this time
–
Peter Parker dies
Doc Ock carries on as him
Ghost Pete whines a lot
–
Off-duty archer
Avenges with his arrows
Aja forever
–
Two parents at war
Tree rockets and TV heads
When’s the next issue?
–
Three Thors in One Book
Against the same enemy
Godkillers are tough
–
Matt is Daredevil
But you’re not supposed to know
For him, we’ll pretend
–
All threats escalate
From both living and the dead
Walk on you sick book
–
Pulled forward in time
Here to stop their future selves
Hated, feared, funny
–
Just breathe.
I don’t know about you but I feel much better. I really do, I’m not just being funny. That was both enjoyable and relaxing. I bet you can see where this is going next. I want all comments written as haikus! I’ve gone mad with power, but trust me, it’s for your own good.
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Ryan Haupt is the wise man at the top of the mountain. Here his spout science wisdom on the podcast Science… sort of.
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Haha! These are all fantastic. I can’t pick a winner. Maaaybe Daredevil.
Good stuff, Ryan. I feel more calm already.
I do agree, but
that was not haiku.
Read the article again. 😉
Aw crap. I messed it up. Nevermind.
5
7
5
C’mon!
Ryan’s not the boss of me.
I had 5 7 5, then moved line 3 up to line 1 because I liked having line 1 lead right into line 2.
I over-thought it.
No disrespect intended.
Seppuku for one.
wheelhands, yes i am
please just do as i command
need i say… or else
HaHa, touche sir
You are very creative
I stand corrected
Ha! Well Done!
Amazing this is
That I recognized them all
I’m calm as the Hulk
What does it say about me that even tho I’m not reading all the books he’s referenced, I’ll still got the references completely? Seriously hey @Ryan, if you even made a book of this stuff I would buy it. Even tho I’m not into poetry.I’m also not well versed in Haiku, but I was entertained nonetheless.
Adolescents fight
A young new Darkhawk rises
Hopeless writes, Ron weeps
Very good haikus
I’ve only read two of these
Vaughn good, Snyder bad
Don’t misjudge me please
Snyder writes amazingly
Last arc let me down
I must be doing something right because I didn’t even realize everyone was mad again. Anyway, nice haikus.
Why are people mad?
There are great books to read and
iFanboy haikus!
Also, Prof. Ryan
I’m using these in my class
because they’re awesome.
What book is last poem?
I’m not reading it I guess
Sounds interesting
It’s All New X-Men
You should give it a shot, sir
Very well done
Uncanny X-Force
is the answer i believe.
Remender writes well.
I messed that one up
This is destroying my calm
*IT’S very well done
One haiku, two books.
Both fit, but WheelHands is right
’til Ryan reveals.
Sounds like WheelHands knows
Bendis fails much, like X-Men
Not taking the risk
True, both could be right
New X-Men is current, though
Ryan, please confirm
You should try it out
I am not a Bendis fan
But so far, so good
And then there’s the art
Immonen KILLS it each month
Fill-ins are good too
This should be a thing
Writing haikus about books
Poetry is fun
Anger begets nothing
Just buy the books you like, gang
I’ll end with Burma Shave.
Excellent work, man.
We all need some calming words
About folks in tights.
Sexica and Nik
Doing something, not sure what
But it’s beautiful
Last two lines could be
Said about Prophet as well
Graham is a hard read
The bomb is a front
Mayhem and power are king
Einstein loves whisky
Meru needs idea
Henry Lyme reveals the truth
Shampoo, rinse, repeat
Earth in great danger
Universe tells bad guys, “Stop”
Everyone goes, “Huh?”
I ignored Ultron
Pockets emptied anyway
No food on wednesdays
Ex-cop is a-hole
Blue flying donkey appears
Have not read end yet
In a strange comic
Tony Chu eats crap for his job.
No, literally.
Thought I’d try some Cap
Sold out, and no back issues
Damn FLCS
*ring* hello, IT
have you tried turning it off
And on again? *click*
Three ninety nine sucks
So some fat cat gets fatter?
Marvel gets no bucks
Haikus are such fun
I enjoyed this quite a lot
Next time limericks?