Hello, and welcome to Job Evaluations. We stumbled upon a box of files here at the iFanboy HQ. Inside that box were performance reviews for jobs kept by many of the characters we read about week to week. Let’s dive in!
NAME: Scrooge McDuck
OCCUPATION: Business Tycoon
EVALUATED BY: Launchpad McQuack
DQ (Duck Quarterly) did an interview with Launchpad McQuack covering all sorts of things including the time he was employed by Scrooge McDuck. This is a portion of that interview.
Oh hey there. You want to interview me about old Scroogey? Sure. I got to take this plane for a test drive though. Hop on in. Oh uh..might want to buckle that there seatbelt.
Yeah, I worked for Mr. McDuck for a good couple of years before I got this new gig as a sidekick to Darkwing Duck. That was an offer I just couldn’t pass up. Oh, don’t print anything about me being DW’s sidekick. He’ll get real mad if I let it out that Drake Mallard and Darkwing were the same person.
Anyways, Mr. McDuck needed a pilot and I needed a job. Next thing I knew I was hired. I got far more than I bargained for. Mr. McDuck isn’t just a great businessman because he is smart. He finds out about treasure and hunts it down. Somehow me and his nephers get dragged along. Someone has got to fly him everywhere. That someone was me.
Mr. McDuck has a strong business sense. That’s why he is the richest duck in the world. I know I am biased but he is also the most honest, hard working duck I have ever met. I mean there are other rich ducks out there but they can’t claim they got rich because they were honest. Look at that Flintheart Glomgold. He would lie and cheat just to get the few dollars in your wallet. He is always trying to steal Mr. McDuck’s fortune through some cheating scheme. Hey, you hungry? Wanna grab a bite at Hamburger Hippos? I’m starving.
This, this was a good idea. I love me some Hamburger Hippos. What were we talking about? Right. Mr. McDuck is not only the richest guy in the world but he is also the most generous. Pass the ketchup please, thanks. I think when he took in his grand nephews he got a new outlook on life. Pass the mustard please. Thanks. They really brought him joy and he loved those kids. Now he is always giving money to charities. The Make a Wish Upon a Star Foundation. Ronald McDonald Duck House. All great charities. He is even starting a reality show, Scrooge McDuck’s Celebrity Apprentice. All the proceeds go to charity. Can you pass the ketchup again?
Thanks for picking up the bill at Hamburger Hippos, reporter man. I left my wallet in the Thunderquack. Everybody knows who Mr. McDuck is. You can’t walk down the street without people coming up and saying hi. Sometimes that’s good. Sometimes that’s bad. People are trying to get money from him a lot. Which is a shame as he is the nicest guy, he’d probably give you the money if you just asked for it. He bought this plane for me! There are always people like those Beagle Boys who try to get Mr. McDuck’s money by stealing or thieving. What did you ask again? Hey are you okay? You look like you’re gonna be sick? Was it Hamburger Hippos? It’s my flying? Well if flying upside down gives you motion sickness then you should have told me in the first place.
I love Scrooge McDuck. He gave me the first job I ever had as a pilot without once asking me if I had ever flown a plane. I am glad he didn’t has I hadn’t at the time. I learned quick though!
We have to solve this mystery and rewrite history all before noon today. I have my afternoon swim in my money vault scheduled at that time.
Timmy Wood watched Ducktales The Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp so many times the VHS broke. For a good time follow him on Twitter.