Christmas Cheer in Comic Book Form

I'm an old lady.

No, really, it's true. Instead of the apathy towards the holidays that most twenty somethings seem to possess as a rule, I am a robust package of Holiday Cheer. Though I'm not necessarily to the point of decorating my house for Christmas all year round and salivating wildly at "cute little Santas" at the thrift store, I do make an effort to go out of my way and make Christmas a special occasion for myself and the people around me. I'm probably really irritating with my rabid need to decorate my apartment, and my Christmas shopping even in the summer, but tradition has its place in my life. The desperation I secretly possess to recapture my childhood over and over again is very transparent with my love for the holidays, as it is also obvious with my continued adoration of comic books, video games, action figures, and all that other "kid stuff".

So I suppose it's no wonder that I am aware of the elusive and seldom spoken of genre of "Holiday Comics"… something I was unaware of until earlier this year and my mind was promptly blown upon discovery. Holiday comics are some sort of unicorn: always existing, never quite coming to the surface, capturing people's imaginations at their mere existence, but never materializing. Well I'm here to BRING FORTH THE UNICORN. Er, I mean comics. Here's some red and green holiday cheer in the form of sequential art:

 

Superman's Christmas Adventure

By Jerry Siegel & Jack Burnley

Only in a DC comic from 1940 can you witness Superman pulling Santa's sleigh, the villains kidnapping the reindeer, Lois Lane getting kidnapped not once but TWICE (and strapped to a rocket at one point!), Superman flying selfish little boys around the city to see those less fortunate, and the villains destroying presents at a toy drive with fire and axes. It is an absolutely zany and absurd Christmas adventure that only Superman could deliver.

 

 

The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special

By Keith Giffen, Alan Grant, & Simon Bisley

Want to read a comic book where Lobo battles Santa Claus to the death? Of course you do.

There is a disclaimer on the comic itself that reads "more offensive than Christmas itself usually is", so before you even crack open this blood bath of holiday festivities you are already poised and ready for the contents within. It begins with Lobo being hired by the Easter Bunny (a chain smoking pub patron) who has taken out a hit out on Santa. Immediately willing to assist in return for death and destruction, Lobo bursts into Santa's workshop guns blazing. He mercilessly mows down the defenseless elves, painting the walls of the workshop in their innocent blood. His job done there, he moves forward in his task to destroy Santa… who turns out to be an evil taskmaster and not the jovial, friendly man generally portrayed.

An epic battle ensues, which Lobo naturally wins by chopping off Santa's head. Not willing to leave any stones unturned, he shoots Rudolph, and then loads up the sleigh with A-bombs to spread his own holiday cheer.

Lobo's Christmas Special may be one of the best comic books ever. Yeah, you can quote me on that.

 

 

The Last Christmas

By Brian Posehn, Garry Duggan, Rick Remender, Hilary Barta, Michelle Madsen, & Ed Dukeshire

This post apocalyptic story is disturbing and even poignant in a way that only comedian Brian Posehn could pull off. The story is set in a post nuclear world where zombies and outlaws run rampant, and Christmas is a thing of the past. Mrs. Claus has been murdered by outlaws, and Santa has gone absolutely bonkers at her loss. He is raging drunk and intends to kill himself, but finds he cannot because there are still children who believe in him. With murder in his heart, he sets forth to kill those last threads that are keeping him alive so he can finally rest in peace.

What greets him is a severely messed up world, where he proceeds to show just how badass a damaged old man can be. Killing zombies with machine guns, saying words that would make your mother blush, all while constantly fueled by alcohol… Santa should be shown some RESPECT, dammit!

 

 

The Great Treasury of Christmas Comic Book Stories

By Craig Yoe, John Stanley, Walt Kelly, Dan Noonan, and many more.

Sigh. I suppose I should depart from my blood bathed Christmas comic selections and actually include one that is appropriate for all ages. Toss aside the superheroes and zombie killing Santas, here's some genuine holiday cheer for you in the form of this beautiful Hardcover by IDW Publishing. It's a wonderful gift for the younger comic book fan in your life, and it includes great stories from the golden age of comics that include Santa, reindeer, and many "good morals". Holiday cheer abounds in its pages.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get wasted on egg nog with my mom.
 

 

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Molly McIsaac cut down her own Christmas tree this year because she's just that hardcore. You can read about other such things she partakes in on her twitter… if you want. I guess.