Facebook has been asking me really prying questions lately. “Molly, what’s your New Year’s resolution for 2013?” it asked me, suddenly sentient. I tried to answer it, but it was still prompting me, taunting me with those words. STOP IT FACEBOOK, I SAID I WANT TO GET INTO SHAPE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. New Year’s Resolution.
New Year’s Resolution.
Furiously, I scribbled down a list. I felt like I was going crazy. Suddenly, I found myself here. I’m just trying to help you guys. I’m just trying to get Facebook off of your back. Oh god this may be my last article, I think it’s coming for me.
Be Nice to Cosplayers
This year, instead of debating whether or not she’s “geeky” enough to be cosplaying, instead of lamenting over how we are taking up all of your convention space, instead of rolling your eyes at that “fat Superman”, here’s an idea: Be nice to cosplayers. And to expound on that… let’s just be nicer to everyone else in general! That’s all I want in this world: just be decent human beings to each other, please? We don’t want to be the bullies we were once tormented by. So in 2013 let’s resolve for less debates, less judgement, and more niceness! Tell a cosplayer they look awesome, snap a pic with a smile, and stop being a dick.
Dress like the Doctor as often as possible
It doesn’t matter what gender you identify with, we all have to agree on one thing: bow ties are cool. And if there’s anyone you should be taking fashion advice from, it’s the dapper Doctor. So channel your inner timelord and leave the house with a bow tie, or suspenders, or even a fez instead of your usual uniform of jeans and t-shirt. Or more realistically… dress nicely. Shower. Break the “comic book guy” stereotype one nicely tailored shirt at a time.
Lend a Good Comic to a new reader… and don’t expect to get it back
Look at your shelves. Find your most dog eared comic, the one you love with all of your heart… and then let it go. Because if you love something, set it free. Pay it forward to a new reader, someone who is just now showing an interest in comics or someone who has NEVER shown an interest in comics. The love you have for that book will transcend the pages, and hopefully you’ll bring a new reader into our folds, and someday THEY can pay the same book forward. Besides, trades are like… 10 bucks on Amazon.
Tweet at a comic creator about how great they are, not about how what they wrote/drew most recently nerdraged you
I think this goes a little hand in hand with “be nice to each other!”, but seriously: If you pick up an issue one Wednesday and OMG YOU ARE SO MAD WTF DO THEY THINK THEY ARE DOING WITH THIS SACRED CHARACTER, take a deep breath and step away from Social Media. Come to iFanboy and rant about it with everybody else. And once you calm down, think of something nice to say to a comic book creator – even if it’s not the one you’re mad at. Too often my feed is full of mean, snarky, passive aggressive comments at creators, and I’m sure that this is tiring and emotionally draining. Go out of your way to be nice to someone, and maybe the next issue won’t be quite so bad.
Get yourself into superhero shape (or at least make it so you feel comfortable in spandex)
As the gym overflows with “resolutioners” for the next two weeks, you may roll your eyes at this cliche goal. But you shouldn’t, because (allow me to sound like a parent for a minute): fitness is important! And as lovely people who would much usually much rather read a comic book than toss a pigskin around with the boys, we need to especially watch to make sure that all of that pizza doesn’t catch up with us. So this year I’m hitting the gym again and I’ve found that my primary inspiration is that I’ve decided to look like Wonder Woman. Unrealistic as it may be, it’s a goal I can at least push towards, AND it gives me an excuse to read comics on my iPhone while I’m on the elliptical. Best of both worlds?
I especially suggest purchasing a spandex Spider-Man suit and showing the internet your workout progress whilst wearing it. Awesomeness may ensue.
Are you happy now, Facebook? Are you happyyyyy– *static*
Molly McIsaac is currently unknown, probably sucked up into some sort of bizarre Skynet like apparatus. You can follow her if she ever comes back to the land of the internet via twitter or her geeky lifestyle and fashion blog, the Geeky Peacock.