The place: Loteria Grill, Farmer’s Market, Los Angeles.
The time: December 10, 2008.
The participants: Myself and my once a year lunch guest, Santa Claus
ME: What’d you get?
SANTA: Carnitas.
ME: Yum.
SANTA: What’s that? Nopales salad? Glad to see you’re going vegetarian. You’re not a kid anymore.
ME: I know.
SANTA: Wouldn’t hurt you to drop a few pounds. Thirty, maybe forty…
ME: Workin’ on it.
SANTA: Each year puts you more at risk… high blood pressure, diabetes…
ME: Who are you, the Ghost of Christmas Future?
SANTA: I wouldn’t nag if I didn’t care.
ME: I guess. How was your year? Still dealing with global warming?
SANTA: Yeah. It’s freaking awesome to find polar bears swimming in what once was my front yard.
ME: Just give them Cokes. That works in commercials.
SANTA: You ever deal with a 1500 pound bruin goofed on caffeine? Not fun.
ME: That kid at the next table is checking you out.
SANTA: Hi, Michelle.
ME: How’d you know…oh, right.
SANTA: Whoa, I’m stuffed. Where’s the check?
ME: Already paid.
SANTA: No! I always…
ME: So put me on the naughty list.
SANTA: Forty pounds, next December. I’ll be watching.
ME: Naturally.
Paul Dini is the Emmy and Eisner Award winning writer of Batman: The Animated Series, Superman: The Animated Series, Detective Comics, Countdown among many, many other things. You can find him online at either kingofbreakfast.livejournal.com or http://www.jinglebelle.com/.
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there…are…no words
Someone get Kevin Maguire or Adam Hughes to draw this out please! Kudos, Mr Dini. Kudos.
This? Kinda made my day.
I love things like this. Very awesome. Reminds me of the bit Aaron Sorkin put out with Barack Obama meeting Jed Bartlett.
That’s just good ol’ holiday cheer right there!
Nice touch to the season. thanks
Your column always makes me chuckle.